Life is a Circus
Updated: Apr 15, 2020
My hands grip the bar and silence falls around me. It's the only moment of the day when I am truly present. I can feel every stretch in my body. It's been over three weeks and I am back at it, something I love, something for myself; trapeze. I stumbled into this hobby like an ungraceful bull in a china shop, clumsy and nervous- screaming "don't look at me!" If I close my eyes I can still remember what it felt like to walk into that studio alone and intimated. It was after work and I was wearing my heels feeling wobbly and out of place. Having to walk past the cross-fit center where I was intercepted by the strongest man I had ever seen. He introduced himself as he could tell right away that I was lost. He guided me towards the back, kindly and said goodbye. That is when my life changed.
They were doing things I had only seen in movies and maybe if I was really honest with myself, my dreams. I asked a million questions and they patiently answered them all, I could feel the enthusiasm dripping from them and I wanted some of it. I wanted to fly. So I made the decision to change my life and signed up for a membership.
I had been looking for something different. A hobby that would get me out of my desk job and out of my slump. My cousin who is all too inspiring had suggested aerials, something I had never thought my broken body could handle.
My first class was intense. An introduction to 'All Aerials'. My hands touched everything. We were upside on silks, hanging from hammocks and circling from the Lyra. And then I found it. The Trapeze. It's as if something inside of me came alive. I had to be hoisted up and while it seemed everyone was laughing it was only because I was giggling with joy. I could feel every part of my body, the muscles, tendons, strength in me that I had thought I had lost so long ago. It was actual body awareness.
I went back week after week learning new moves, taking new classes and meeting new friends. Something was lit inside of me. As I continued to take more classes I have learned such valuable lessons that have taught me not just strength in aerials but strength in life;
1. Celebrate your progress.
2. Every day you will be different, and that is okay!
3. Be grateful for your body.
4. Circus, much like life hurts. But it's worth it.
5. You can only compare yourself to YOURSELF!
After a long winter break, I went back expecting my body to give me the same results as it had before the break and when it didn't I left feeling frustrated and defeated. After taking a giant step back I had to remember that I needed to celebrate the fact I even rolled out of bed to go to class and remind myself how far I have come. It's been six months and I am landing moves I never knew existed because I HAD NEVER TOUCHED A TRAPEZE BEFORE. Aerials is about trusting yourself and being kind to yourself through the act of self-love and empowerment.
This has been a journey and a major part in my recovery process, I am so grateful for my studio and their instructors, who are always encouraging. I am not sure where I would be without them! If you are looking to change your life while learning a new empowering skill I encourage you to take up Aerials you'll find an incredible community and find yourself.